ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize