I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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