Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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