You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
