I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
