I'm lost and stupid without you.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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