I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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