HIV tests are more positive than that guy
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
