I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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