just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
