you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Randomize
