suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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