i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.