i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED