nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?