i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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