there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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