Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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