so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Houston, we have a squirter
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize