I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
