I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
