we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
