Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize
