It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Screwed.edu
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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