Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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