im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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