these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
