pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Randomize
