And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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