Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
