i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
