are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I love how my cats smell like pot.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Come on in and take your pants off
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