even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You were trust falling into bushes
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
