she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
