I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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