..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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