Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
