I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
