there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
