you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
