I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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