I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
