She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
