I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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