try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
