I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
