yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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