capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
