You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Dicks are not precious.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Randomize
