you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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