Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
