With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
