Betty ford says i'm here all night
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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