I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
