who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
