I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I FOUND THE LEGS
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
