I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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