Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
